| “They tried to bury us; they didn’t know we were seeds.” – Dinos Christianopoulos I believe with all my heart that when we see our tough circumstances as planting time (“seeds” per the quote by Dinos Christianopoulos), we take a 180° turn from usual rationalizations, excuses, and complaints. And lest anyone should think that I or anyone else immediately changes course and gathers the courage to swerve to this perspective and focus, let me assure you, I’m here to learn, too. “What you focus on grows, what you think about expands, what you dwell on becomes your destiny.” – Robin Sharma Resilience is a skill – no one is born with it. Resilience is also a quality that requires development and a little time, especially if you never learned how to be resilient or saw it modeled in your life. Psychologists say there is a 4-factor approach for developing resilience, and luckily, they’re all simple and super effective. 1. State the facts – That means unplugging from the emotional hyperbolic rabbit hole that we all have a tendency to fall down into – why? ENERGY! Conserve it, don’t start the whole downward “woe is me” spiral, and invest your emotional capital in something that won’t help – and will actually make things worse. 2. Place blame where it belongs – Simple: take ownership and responsibility for whatever needs to be owned. Beating yourself up is unproductive and a waste of energy and time (see #1), so just own it and move on. 3. Reframe – This is how we create a healthier perspective and find the grit over quit! For example – I’m still hating on the spin bike, but I’m focusing on how I feel after instead of the dread of getting on it. This helps! 4. Take your time with this stuff – Honestly, this is your alignment assignment, and it will get you where you want to go. It will help you sort, process, see more than one perspective, create another focus, help you heal, and develop acceptance. Healing always creates more resilience – when a bone heals after being broken, there is a reparative phase when a callus is created on the bone – this area is really strong – a calcium collection that not only builds the bone back but creates even greater strength. Arngamama is the Japanese term for the desire for change. Unconditional acceptance – this is the path to resilience, lovelies, and it makes all the difference in the world. And this is exactly how your house of resilience is built: radical acceptance and change at the same time … FUN! |
