| “The curious paradox is when I accept myself exactly as I am, THEN I am able to change.” ~ Carl Rodgers The paradoxical theory of change means that when women allow themselves to be FULLY and AWARELY in touch with who they CURRENTLY are, change and growth emerge. It is inevitable and natural. This was an actual therapy developed in the 40s and 50s by Fritz and Laura Perls. Their finding was that their patients experienced immediacy and personal responsibility. There is a confluence that emerges – a fusion of several things: • self-awareness • self-knowledge • true motives The dictionary says that a paradox is a seemingly absurd or self-contradictory statement or proposition that, when investigated or explained, may prove to be well-founded or true. The truth is reality isn’t necessarily bound by logic – logic is limited, and that’s when paradox shows up. Here are several paradoxes in life: 1. The pursuit of happiness. Eleanor Roosevelt said, “Happiness is NOT a goal, it is a by-product … “ 2. The only certainty is uncertainty. The future cannot be predicted, although my grandma (“Earthquake Edna”) had an uncanny ability to predict California earthquakes back in the day. Making PEACE with uncertainty is making peace with yourself. 3. Too many choices mean indecision. It SEEMS like a good idea, but too many options create indecisiveness paradoxically. We THINK we want endless options, but as I know from 27+ years of coaching, we just need to know what to choose. 4. Failure leads to success. Who knew? This is what I call creating the Experience File – these are the lessons that will shape future success. We’ve been taught to avoid even the illusion of failure – can you imagine how powerful embracing these Edison Moments could be if we used them to create success for the future? 5. The more you know … the more you realize how little you know. I believe this paradox leads to humility, wisdom, and empathy for others. 6. The more scared you are of doing something, the more you should do it. 6 years ago, I went to France by myself. I had never even been to the movies alone! I learned I could do hard things and that I was resourceful and capable. 7. The more we “speak up,” the less people listen. Wise words have weight – chatter is fluff. A paradox I bet you aren’t using right now is allowing your haters and doubters to FUEL your fire. I did that years ago – • When I was in sales: I made 2 sales in my 1st month when I was told, “It will never happen.” • When I started my own business: I was told to “Get a job,” and that Menu Mailer would never work. • When it came to my weight loss: I was told “You’ll never lose the weight” because of my thyroid issues. • With my writing: They said, “You’ll never get a book published.” Creating the life that I wanted was on the other side of the doubters, haters, and naysayers. Their contempt just fueled my desire to prove them wrong and prove to myself that I could. Paradoxes are the SEEDS for change, but we first have to start with ACCEPTANCE. |
