When it comes to bacon and eggs, the chicken makes a contribution – but the pig? The pig makes a commitment. At a Jewish wedding, the bride and groom smash the glass after they’ve said their vows. Why? To remind themselves: there’s no going back. This is forever. We live our lives in the same way – fully committed to spouses, children, careers, and aging parents. We’re all in when it comes to other people. But when it comes to ourselves? We straddle the fence. We say “I’m gonna … ” We dabble. We overthink. We plan endlessly, but we don’t do. And the result is exhaustion – the mental gymnastics of being half-in, half-out. If you want to do a full-on Diana Nyad – the woman who swam from Cuba to Florida at age 64 and coined the phrase “Find a way” – then you need more than good intentions. You need commitment tools that work with your brain, not against it. Here are 5 ways to do it: 1. Hack Your Dopamine Dopamine is not the “pleasure molecule” – it’s the anticipation molecule. Your brain lights up not when you finish something, but when you move toward it. That means you need to create micro-milestones that give your brain quick wins. This is how you create “motivation” too. • Break your goal into ridiculously small steps (think: put on shoes, open notebook). Atomic Habits and Tiny Habits (both books) support this and cite the research to support it. • Celebrate starting, not just finishing. This rewires your brain to crave action instead of procrastination. 2. Shrink the Decision Fatigue Every “should I or shouldn’t I?” is a withdrawal from your brain’s limited bank account of “willpower”. The more you decide, the more exhausted you become. Solution? Pre-decide once. • Pack your gym bag the night before. • Create a weekly meal rhythm (Taco Tuesday, Soup Sunday). • Automate supplements with a pill organizer. When the decision is already made, you stop negotiating with yourself, and you’re not exhausted anymore; you’re actually energized. 3. Use “Implementation Intentions” Research shows that when you pair a goal with an if/then plan, success skyrockets. Example: • Instead of “I’ll exercise more,” try: “If it’s 7 AM, then I put on my sneakers and walk for 10 minutes.” • Instead of “I’ll eat better,” try: “If it’s lunch, then I start with protein first.” Your brain loves certainty. Give it a script, and it will follow. 4. Silence the Perfectionism Loop Half the reason we stay stuck is because perfectionism whispers, “If you can’t do it all, don’t bother.” Science-backed antidote to this conundrum? Minimum viable commitment. • Journal for 2 minutes, not 20. • Lift weights for 5 minutes, not 45. • Write 100 words, not 1,000. Consistency beats intensity. Progress beats perfection. Every Single Time! 5. Reframe Identity First Neuroscience shows your actions follow your identity. Instead of “I want to lose weight,” shift to: “I am a woman who fuels her body well.” Instead of “I should work out,” say: “I am an athlete in training for my own life.” Your brain will fight for congruence between who you believe you are and what you do. Change the label, and the behavior follows. The Sting Here’s the truth: you can’t “sort of” be committed. You’re either the chicken or you’re the pig. You’re either smashing the glass or you’re holding it back in the box. Half-in is a guarantee of frustration. All-in is the only path to freedom. So stop dabbling in your own life. Pre-decide. Rewire. Reinvent. Because you are the one commitment that’s worth going all in on. |
