| Who you are shows up in what you do, not what you say. This is because we are committed to our identity. And because our identities are the plumbline of how we think, we ATTRACT at the level of our identity- not just commitment. Let’s unpack identity first. According to the dictionary, identity is the fact of being who or what a person or thing is. It’s your commitment to your identity that forms your qualities, beliefs, personality, looks, and even your expressions and vocabulary. Your identity is an influence on your behavior. “I’m not a morning person” is a declaration of identity. But what if your identity is conflicting with what you want? Being 100% committed means your identity needs to be a part of the change. For example, you can’t commit to quality sleep if you identify as a night owl. Conversely – You can’t identify as a healthy eater if you’re frequenting the fast-food drive-thru on the way home from work five nights a week. CONFLICT with your identity will create only lip service to a commitment. The road to commitment is built on the back of your identity, so as James Clear so wisely says: “True behavior change is IDENTITY change. You might start a habit because of motivation, but the only reason you’ll stick to it is that it becomes a part of your identity.” This is why I am an athlete; my goal for this year was powerful. It’s also why I sometimes got inconsistent. It was due to habit on one hand, BUT the inconsistency was because I didn’t buy all the way in. I’m busy. I have a puppy. I have a business to run. I’m tired. I’m 63 … I need to chill. Changing your identity changes your commitment. Your identity is contingent on the stuff we talked about earlier – beliefs, qualities, personality, looks, expressions, and your words. So the questions we need to be asking change in the quest for a stronger identity. Here are some good examples of this: • Your goal isn’t to lose weight (outcome), your goal is to become an athlete. (identity) • Your goal isn’t to quit smoking (outcome), your goal is to become a nonsmoker. (identity) • Your goal isn’t to wake up earlier (outcome), it’s to become an early riser. (identity) • You can make an example out of nearly everything – it’s powerful and more! Your identity is the foundation of your truest and best version of yourself if you decide it is … And if you decide it is, then your commitment to identity-based goals vs outcome goals is clearly the right direction. How? 1. “Your identity emerges out of your habits”, says James Clear. Therefore, create the RIGHT identity-based goals. 2. Put your identity-based habits on repeat – this is how you embody your identity. – When you make your bed, you embody an organized person. – When you work out each day, you embody the identity of an athlete. This reinforcement of habit reinforces your identity and commitment. 3. Your action (or inaction) is a vote for the person you’re committed to being. This is gradual. You’re going to start, stop, have good days, and bad days. It’s incremental and driven by grit, not quit. It’s not one action, it’s several. But it’s meaningful if you’re committed to becoming your best self. 4. Remember your vote is never unanimous. Just like in a real election, there are votes on both sides. You’re looking for a majority vote – you want to win most of the time. You’ll be inconsistent, but remember, a new identity requires NEW EVIDENCE. If you change nothing, you’ll get what you’ve always gotten. BUT if you start, if you “most of the time” do the thing you want, over time your identity changes. Brendan Burchard posted this a few days ago: First, it is an intention. Then a behavior. Then a habit. Then a practice. Then second nature. Then it is simply who you are. COMMIT to that! |
