| It’s often been said that we speak more harshly to ourselves than we would ever consider speaking to others. Positive self-talk is to emotional pain as a pain pill is to physical pain. What you think, you become – That is because of the way we’re wired. Our brains are always on the lookout to prove our brains RIGHT. And while another’s harsh words will have a powerful impact on us, it’s our own words, our own self-talk, depreciating humor (at our own expense), our world, and our truth, which is manifested by that inner dialogue. Our self-talk is the inner dialogue we all have. This is where we hash out our beliefs, fears, ideas, and whatever random thoughts come our way. This inner dialogue stuff has been vastly studied – there is a ton of research on the influence of self-talk. I’ve spoken about athletes who’ve used their self-talk to get an “unfair” advantage over their competitors — Tiger Woods, Michael Phelps, Diana Nyad … they all massively leveraged their self-talk to rise above the rest. One study, from many, found that positive self-talk increased sports performance in athletes. Sometimes these athletes are not the standouts in their field, but BECOME standouts because there is more than one function to positive self-talk. • It motivates • It’s emotionally supportive • It creates a greater understanding of ourselves You’ve heard me say motivation won’t come knocking at your door – you know why? Because your inner dialogue CREATES your motivation. And just like an athlete wanting to perform better in his/her sport, our “performance”, our vibrancy (or lack thereof) is in DIRECT correlation to the way we talk to ourselves. This can be confusing – especially if you have conflicting thoughts! So we all have thoughts that are based on conditioning, for example: “Money doesn’t grow on trees.” What you say to yourself NEXT is the key to getting what you want. If you go with a scarcity mindset, you’ll spend a lot of time and energy focusing on LACK – therefore, I can’t have ______. Follow up instead with: “Can you imagine, what if I _____; it’s possible and here’s what I can do_____.” This is how I decided to go to France. By Myself. Using my million points to book a trip I’ll never forget. Negative self-talk, though, is more than just relics from your past. They’re also thoughts that are complicated by emotions, feelings, and experiences. And while I’d NEVER be dismissive about these very real feelings and emotions, I would deal with them separately and not give them my power. In other words, if I allowed my power to be controlled by the negative junk I regularly have to “listen” to in my head – yes, we all have it! – I would have never started Saving Dinner, never gone to France, never have even had children! We use tools to help bring mindfulness back into our self-talk – the Quote Deck, Take Back Your Life Journal, and Mindful Mugs – these all instill and support positive self-talk and help create NEW empowering thoughts. Our brains can’t be left on their own to figure this out. 1. Our INTENTIONS help create new neural pathways when we proactively construct them – here’s how: Speak to yourself out loud – use your name. You hear your name more acutely than anything else – use it to your advantage. 2. Look yourself in the eye when you’re practicing #1 above. It will feel weird and strange, but it’s powerful and will penetrate even the strongest negativity. 3. I AM statements are declarative and, in and of themselves, are a manifesto. 4. Vision board the vibrancy you want – then keep it visible and see it daily: words that light you up, things you want, the vibrant life you hotly desire. 5. Gratitude will break the back of negativity, resentment, bitterness, and anger because they cannot coexist with gratitude. Robin Sharma said, “Gratitude is the antidote to fear.” And we all know the many faces of fear – scarcity, criticism, failure, rejection, perfectionism, saying yes when you mean no, saying no when you mean yes, checking out by numbing out with food, booze, shopping, your phone, TV or excessive work or busyness, and of course, Procrastination capital P, the stealer of all vibrancy! Add in some positive extras: 1. Develop a meditation practice. 2. Focus on what you want and appreciate. 3. Question your beliefs if they’re contrary to what you want – what’s true about that thought? 4. Trust the One who made you – fearfully and wonderfully – on purpose and for purpose. 5. Find your people – join the Hot Melt Sprint group and take it up another notch by finding a Body Clutter Buddy! |
