| “The measure of a woman is not how she behaves in moments of comfort and convenience, but how she stands at times of controversy and challenge.” – Martin Luther King Jr. Plato said, “The measure of a woman is what she does with her power.” I believe our power is immeasurable and often dormant — I also believe that having sleepy or weak power creates lose/lose situations in times of challenge or controversy. This “sleepy power” or times of challenge are activated when we decide to stand up for ourselves – we measure ourselves “small” when we don’t. How? 1. By being (appropriately) transparent and authentic. No, everything is NOT fine. No, you’re not happy with your haircut, or services, or whatever. Be honest and be kind. People hear people who have the guts to be honest, but they LISTEN to people who are kind at the same time. 2. Body language – stand like Wonder Woman — hands on your fist, head held HIGH! Listen to your mom – remember when she would tell you to stand up straight and hold your head up high? 3. Using your power could cause a knee-jerk reaction – when attacked, wait it out. This is hard! It’s high-road stuff! Reflect back to what they said (without the insult) and, if necessary, call out the bullying without the fingerpointing. Hire someone else, rethink the friendship, or wait to answer. 4. It’s scary to do this- so make sure you’re ready, can articulate the issue (or issues), and don’t say anything until you’re ready. 5. Self-righteousness is LOATHSOME – on anyone, you included! Don’t act indignant, instead, Joe Friday it – “Just the facts, ma’am!” Combative, accusatory, and emotive give the full measure of your power away. 6. Shampoo, Rinse, Repeat – what you focus on expands, and what you dwell upon becomes your destiny. Reclaiming the measure of your power takes PRACTICE! 7. Passive Aggressive much? Be deliberate instead – STRAIGHTFORWARD and kind WINS! 8. “No one can make you feel bad without your consent.” – Eleanor Roosevelt. You own your feelings, emotions, and actions. NO ONE can tell you what you feel or invalidate you unless you allow them to (by allowing those very thoughts.) 9. Hold on to your time – push back when appropriate. Don’t be a pushover. 10. Put on your big girl panties – you still may slip up and go back to the old behavior, BUT excellence is found in the decision and is seen in action. There is no measure of your power really – but you can see it in action when you start doing these things. |
