| Compassion means “to suffer together.” It comes about when you witness another person’s suffering and are motivated to help relieve it if you can. Empathy is the ability to see another’s perspective or pain – even feel it – without actually having the experience. Sympathy is when you understand the pain, and it is likely something you have experienced yourself, for example, the loss of a loved one. Ken Sande of Peacemaker Ministries shared an acrostic that can help us become more empathetic: Enlist all of your faculties Move in physically, verbally, and emotionally Pray for discernment Ask caring questions Think deliberately Help in meaningful ways Yield your convenience, pride, and resources Empathy is a key component to being a peacemaker, and Wise Women know this. Without empathy, relationships weaken. We are wired to be empathetic, but sometimes we don’t develop the ability to be so. We see empathy in action daily – we send aid to disaster-stricken nations, we donate money and clothes to those less fortunate, we volunteer at soup kitchens and shelters, etc. Let’s look at that acrostic again – how do we become peacemakers by employing the gift of empathy? 1. Enlist all of your faculties or resources. Take time to listen to what’s really going on. Ask questions like: How would I feel? What would I do? How can I help? Is there something else going on – is he fearful or afraid to say something? 2. Move in physically, verbally, and emotionally– sit close and hold his or her hand; reflect – “that must have been hard.” Connect emotionally – tears are okay, so is a smile. Show that you truly care. 3. Pray for discernment. By nature, em pa thy is reserved for those who are willing to go the extra mile, but often we’d rather not. Ask to have eyes to see and ears to hear – genuinely pray this way so you can serve. 4. Ask caring questions. “How do you feel, really?” is a question that gives permission for a true answer, not a pat “I’m fine.” Then continue to ask questions if appropriate. 5. Think deliberately. Discernment, logic, emotion, abstract thinking, and planning are all part of deliberate thinking. Why is she saying that? What would I do? What would Jesus do? How would this make me feel? And don’t forget, skip the advice! Love is calling, and it’s not asking you for advice; it’s asking for empathy. 6. Help in meaningful ways. Walk their dog, take over dinner, send a card. Henri Nouwen said, “To console doesn’t mean to take away the pain, but rather to say, ‘You are not alone, I am with you, together we carry the burden’.” 7. Yield your convenience, pride, and resources. This type of “non-agenda” will cost precious time and resources. This is true foot-washing, and empathy and humility require it. |
